Seeding Self

I put down my book.
Feel like throwing my cup
At the phone that looks
Back not lighting up.
A kick to my guts,
My mind starts to spar
With logic so nuts
I forget who you are.
Monstrous the visions,
Your depths are so low.
But were her decisions
A real shock though?
Depression somehow
starts to motivate me
To accept that right now
I’m just scared possibly.

The Line Between Friends

 

Riding our horses,

We pause in a clearing.

Both of us fearing

To grasp what we’ve done.

The Law, of course is

Constantly nearing.

Time’s disappearing,

Must stay on the run.

 

Air’s filled with panic,

So I take out a drink.

Take a swig, and I think

Of what is to come.

Juan is Hispanic

Manner’s soft as a mink,

and he chokes on the stink

of his taste of rum.

 

Juan’s true there’s no doubt.

For years rode with me

Brother in misery

Always had my back.

Then I take my gun out,

Aiming it carefully.

Juan has no time to see

my ruthless attack.

 

So Juan’s devotion

Was true to the end.

I did shoot my friend

So I might be free.

Filled with emotion,

I drink to pretend

Such actions defend

My own right to be.

 

 

The Mole

Going to need a moment

To step back from life today.

May have got a fever,

Been sick too long to say.

Brother’s coming over

Worried for me if I stay

In my room any longer.

Just leave me in my decay.

How do I shake myself

And dry up all the pain?

Need to just man up-

There’s nothing left to blame.

Someone show me friendship,

So I can do the same

And remind me that I’m human

So I’ll come out again.

Going to need an answer

To all the prayers I made.

Need it for my daughter-

She cannot see me fade.

Need to be a little stronger

For just a few more days.

Focus on my family –

God I’m scared to be afraid.

Perspective

I clenched my fist, caressed a sigh

And asked a wish of Father Time.

“Let me see my flowers bloom

One sunny, weekend afternoon.

From seed to dust my eyes will taste,

Before my sands all fall to waste.”

Divine appeared and sat beside.

She soothed my soul with loving eyes.

“You seek time to see your flower

Grow and die in a few hours.

But I fear the oath you take

your Flower did already make.”

Then Father Time did sternly say

“Let them watch each other grey.”

Accepting The Hard Road

I cry at the sun

For grafting connection.

She cleansed shadowed section

Between arms and spine.

My head won’t swallow

this pillow of laughter,

fed to me thereafter,

where Her light touched mine.

How tame my soldier’s

Battle-worn ecstasy?

Now without enemy

Or food of his own?

“Answer’s not simple,

But lay in the flowered

Field choices empowered

That your light has shown.”