Learning To Express Myself
With her little hand in mine,
I whittle riddles in my mind.
The subtle, heartfelt thoughts aside,
I wonder if she knows her size;
As underneath my nervous eyes,
Hides a brittle man disguised
That came to life inside your smile;
Your mortar makes me come alive.
The bravest thing I’ve ever won
Was never more than tearing down
What’s built around something I’d done;
Too ashamed to mark the ground,
And blamed the pain, without a sound.
Now decades stain a past once proud!
What made us blister, festers loud!
And deafens, deadens…
Shames me endlessly…
And washes the truth to be found.
What magic you shared,
As I know you’re away,
Now I walk in this space
Full of Kings, and relay
My dominions upon them,
Yet my actions betray
That my thoughts rummage forward
In snowy cheeks of your face.
Blushing winters expose me,
Yet made me a place
To be more than I am
If I choose to stay.
I seen a man with a young cocker spaniel today.
She was cute. ‘Cross the street
She sat down to say “Hey!”
I melted on over,
Reached my hand down to play
And leaned forward
Into eyes of pure joy
Reflecting electric history
My eyes wetted gratefully
For every memory brought back to me
Of when the kids were young.
My sleepy spring sidewalk
On Sundays lets me,
Haunt there, as a ghost
That everyone sees.
Cause, even the sidewalk
Feels something is missing.
As my smiles and waves
Fail in convincing
Me that I’m living.
But, at least there’s less
Impression bore down
On this little brick
I feel safe around.
“Could he ever tell
Should the levers quell
Wooden bells made of necks
Hooded threats say he’s next??”
Who’s going to say
Even fools know the play
Is to chose tools well suited
For bruising well-rooted
Choices he made.
I put down my book.
Feel like throwing my cup
At the phone that looks
Back not lighting up.
A kick to my guts,
My mind starts to spar
With logic so nuts
I forget who you are.
Monstrous the visions,
Your depths are so low.
But were her decisions
A real shock though?
Depression somehow
starts to motivate me
To accept that right now
I’m just scared possibly.
When you laugh with your eyes,
Right before you smile.
Breathtaking dark skies.
I’m lost in them awhile.
I found there my heart,
And forever will be
At home in the part
Of your soul I do see.
Riding our horses,
We pause in a clearing.
Both of us fearing
To grasp what we’ve done.
The Law, of course is
Constantly nearing.
Time’s disappearing,
Must stay on the run.
Air’s filled with panic,
So I take out a drink.
Take a swig, and I think
Of what is to come.
Juan is Hispanic
Manner’s soft as a mink,
and he chokes on the stink
of his taste of rum.
Juan’s true there’s no doubt.
For years rode with me
Brother in misery
Always had my back.
Then I take my gun out,
Aiming it carefully.
Juan has no time to see
my ruthless attack.
So Juan’s devotion
Was true to the end.
I did shoot my friend
So I might be free.
Filled with emotion,
I drink to pretend
Such actions defend
My own right to be.
Bought a fridge magnet illness
For two bucks a pill.
Told my wife I ain’t happy
To doctor a thrill
For my soul to prescribe
To my body and mind.
Just don’t think the same way I will.
akennific 